I now know why "Grindhouse" bombed -- it fucking sucks!

Why did the media have such a hard time earlier this year figuring out why the movie "Grindhouse" bombed at the box office? I just saw it myself, and can now easily tell you the reason -- the movie fucking sucks! In fact, I'd call it not a movie at all, but rather an insanely-budgeted, perfectly manipulated synergetic entertainment experience, which is the whole reason it sucks as bad as it does.

"We don't just have deliberate fake scratches; we have a thousand percent more deliberate fake scratches than any real '70s cheap movie would accidentally have. And each and every one of them is a slightly different shape and distributed in a diffuse random pattern across the screen, through sophisticated software running on a supercomputer at Robert Rodriguez's movie-studio ranch in Austin."

"This isn't just a zombie movie, IT'S THE MOST DISGUSTING ZOMBIE MOVIE IN THE HISTORY OF MOVING IMAGES AS A MEDIUM FOR MASS ENTERTAINMENT."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, AREN'T YOU JUST HAVING THE MOST INTENSE FUCKING MOVIEGOING EXPERIENCE OF YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE, AND OH SHIT DUDE THAT CHICK'S GOT A MACHINE GUN FOR A LEG, HA HA, CLAP CLAP, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT."

"OOOOOHHH MY MOTHERCOCKSUCKING FUCKING GOD ISN'T THIS JUST THE MOST FUCKING GODDAMN INTENSE AND FUN AND CRAZY AND WILD AND INSANE AND OUT OF CONTROL MOVIEGOING EXPERIENCE YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR ENTIRE COCKSUCKING GODDAMN LIFE, AND OH SHIT DUDE THAT CHICK'S GOT A MACHINE GUN FOR A LEG, HA HA, CLAP CLAP, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT."

Fuck! Enough!

Ultimately, "Grindhouse" is guilty of the same thing as the city of Las Vegas -- of spending an obscene amount of money trying to convince a bunch of squeaky-clean middle-class suburbanites that they're doing something crazy and unsafe, when in fact what they're doing isn't the slightest bit crazy or unsafe at all, but rather their usual consumerist activity of throwing fistfuls of money into the endless hole which is Corporate America.

Rodriguez and Tarantino, you can both go fuck yourselves as far as I'm concerned, if this is the kind of stuff we can expect from you in the future. I have no fucking interest in going to Las Vegas, and I have no interest in sitting through such a piece-of-shit manufactured "entertainment experience" again. No matter HOW many chicks have machine guns for legs.