My very first meme!

Well, how about that? For the first time EVER, someone sent me one of those "answer these questions at your blog, then forward to question to others" message, otherwise known as a "meme." Thanks, Madmizzfit! Anyway, here are my answers to this particular meme...

THE 2X2 MEME

Two names you go by:
"Smooth As Pudding" (my college DJ name); "sociopathic little prick."

Two things you are wearing right now:
A condom and a smile.

Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship:
Fried rice; anal sex.

Two of your favorite things to do:

Kick ass and take names.

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
Fried rice; anal sex.
   
Two pets you had/have:
Two Boxers during youth, named "Fudge" and "Puff."

Two people who will answer these questions, or first to send it back:

No one, because I am a sociopathic little prick and have no friends.

Two things you did last night:

Watched the new "Bionic Woman;" masturbated.

Two things you ate yesterday:
Er, I didn't eat yesterday.

Two people you have last talked to:

Filmmaker Joe Swanberg; my pot dealer.

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
Writing a guide at my arts center's website to the "mumblecore" film movement (hence my talk recently with Swanberg); masturbating.
 
Two longest car rides:

1976, three-day trip from St. Louis to Disney World in Florida; 1992, 12-hour trip from Columbia, Missouri to Ann Arbor, Michigan, from midnight to noon stopping only for gas, as an impromptu road trip during college.

Two favorite holidays:

Arbor Day; The Feast of St. Ignatius. Oh, I'm just kidding; I hate that little asshole Ignatius!
  
Two favorite drinks:

Ginger ale; bourbon.

And here's the people I'm forwarding this meme on to, in case you want to check out their potential responses:
Jason Allen
Artemisian
Kate Cullen
Katherine Hodges
Ken Kase
Dan Kelly
Angie Reiner
Chris Rock
S-Dawgs Bee (VOX member)
Jennifer (VOX member)
Jeffington (VOX member)
Kate (VOX member)
Navelgazer (VOX member)