3 posts tagged “high”
So I was at one of those uber-bookstores the other day, reading books for free, since the uber-bookstores make it so damn easy to do so, when I walked by what I now refer to in my head as "The Big Box of Friends:"
Yes, every episode of "Friends" ever made, all in one big box, which can be yours for only US$300 (150 pounds, 225 euros). Which of course got me immediately thinking...
Who in their right mind would ever watch all 240 episodes or whatever of "Friends" on DVD? Especially when the show can still be caught multiple times a day on television?
The only people who watch 240 episodes of a television show on DVD are people like me -- complete fucking science-fiction losers. And we weren't the ones religiously watching "Friends" when it was originally on the air; it was the slightly daffy meatsacks of the world who were doing that.
You know, the ones who insisted that a show about sassy urban singles end with almost all of them married off and with children, and with half of them on their way to the suburbs. Those meatsacks.
And who, for the love of all that is good, is going to spend $300 for the privilege on top of everything else?
No one, that's who. This Big Box of Friends was in fact designed for one purpose and one purpose only: For those with too much discretionary income to purchase as a gift for others with too much discretionary income.
When the Big Box of Friends was first put together and released, not a single human being expected a single other human being to actually use this product from beginning to end. It is instead a $300 excuse for one person to say to another person, "I was thinking of you recently," for the other person to stick on a back shelf in an already overcrowded den, and to promptly never think about again for the rest of their life.
And then I thought, Wow, has it really gotten that expensive to maintain the consumerist status quo? Has it really come to this?
Yeah, I guess so. Out there in the hazy white-collar suburbs of the world, these sort of dim clouds for me now that I can never quite seem to understand anymore (even after spending my childhood in one), this is what people are doing -- they're working their asses to the bone, 14 hours a day sometimes, throwing their married lives into havoc, missing their offsprings' entire childhoods, getting road rage from those endless hours sitting on a vehicular tarmac, huffing gas fumes as they wait for the endless tie-up of terrorist-supporting ecohorrors to all move up another inch, so that they can all exchange $300 Big Boxes of Friends with each other at every wedding reception and birthday party, and promptly all throw their Big Boxes of Friends on a back shelf in a den and never touch them nor even think of them again.
Is this really what all you people out there in the white-collar sections of the world are doing? I can scarcely believe it. But yet there's the Big Box of Friends in the uber-bookstore to prove it.
Okay, I'm getting off my high horse now; it's time for me to bike over to my friend Tom's Memorial Day party. Price of a bike ride, by the way, after purchase of my $60 bike: free. And a lot more fun than 240 episodes of fucking "Friends."
I'm hanging out at home tonight, getting high and watching the latest three episodes of "Heroes," which NBC is re-running tonight in anticipation of new episodes starting again on Monday. (I'm recovering from oral surgery right now, which is why I'm doing something so pathetic with my Saturday night; that's my official story, and I'm sticking with it.) Anyway, thought I'd throw up smartass remarks about each episode as they happen in real time; if anyone else is following along and would like to add some smartass remarks themselves, just send them via ilikejason [at] gmail.com.
:10 -- See, now here's one of the things about this show that I like so much, that redeems it from the writing mistakes it's often making; how the pace of the plot is just out of control, yet they keep coming up with enough compelling story to let it continue to be that fast. A lot of other shows, I think, would've waited until the very last episode of the season before having Sylar (the big villain) and Suresh (the main hero) confront each other, and to tease that coming confrontation to within an inch of its life; the "Heroes" people, though, decided to buddy them up seven episodes before the end, by Sylar pretending to be another hero and Suresh not being any the wiser. That way, not only is the kill ratio sped up exponentially, but we have the delicious irony in the audience of knowing that Sylar is the bad guy, and that the good guy is palling around with him without knowing any better.
:21 -- By the way, nice to see that dude from Coach still getting work, even if it's an entirely pointless subplot regarding Hiro and Ando stumbling ass-backwards into a con job in Las Vegas.
:35 -- "You know what I'd do with us? I'd stick us in a lab on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean." Nice Lost reference!
:54 -- Well, okay, this wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. I think I'll put an end here to my Lost marathon experiment. Not a very fun show to live-blog to, it turns out.
Okay, okay! I freakin' watch that ridiculous NBC supernatural show Heroes every goddamn week, okay?! I am so fucking ashamed of myself for doing so, because I know the show contains just so many damn rookie artistic mistakes; I mean, seriously, giving your supposed villain horn-rimmed glasses? In 2007? Seriously? But there's just something about it, you know? Fans know what I'm talking about; something about the breakneck pacing, the deliberate hiring of cool underground graphic artists to create the show's backgrounds, and all the rest, that make it a thoroughly addictive and entertaining show from week to week. It's certainly a lot more reliable entertainment-wise than Lost, something that by all rights should get me branded as a bloody heretic (brutha).
Anyway, I'm still recovering here in Chicago from the first half of my oral surgery, and am just spending a lot of time at home these days, and have been smoking dope recently as well to help stave off all the pain and nausea and everything else. And NBC happens to be showing the last three episodes in a row of "Heroes" tonight, starting at 8pm Eastern / 7pm Central (or two hours from when I'm posting this), as promotion for the first new episode in something like a month and a half, which is finally airing the day after tomorrow. So I thought I'd just sit at home tonight and get good and baked, and watch these episodes again and live-blog my thoughts as the episodes air, as I've done at my blog before (most famously for my first-ever viewing of The Sound of Music, about six years ago, and then again for "Lost" last month that a lot of people seemed to get a kick out of).
I decided to do this so early, though, that I have time to invite people to live-blog with me if they're interested; either via online means (mutual blogs, IM/chat, etc), or if you're in Chicago, by just coming by and smoking some of my dope with me too. Anyway, if you're planning on watching the Heroes marathon yourself tonight, and feel like making real-time smartass comments along the way with me, just drop me a line at ilikejason [at] gmail.com and let me know. Like I said, IM might be the easiest way to do this, barring being in Chicago yourself and just stopping by.
